Letter #2

Dear Whoever Is in Charge of Hiring a Cleaning Person,

Please hire a real cleaning person. The person you have currently employed to clean our office is beyond inadequate. She is dangerous. I fear for my health and safety with her being our janitor. It was bad enough at the beginning that she never vacuumed and the only way to clean the desk tops was to wipe them down yourself with a Lysol wipe and sweep crumbs into the garbage. But then it got worse when I discovered that she cleans the bathroom by refilling the towel dispenser and spraying air freshener. Not even disinfectant air freshener. Just some orange smelling junk. At least when she cleans the rest of the office she sprays Lysol. I don't know if anyone has ever told her that Lysol does not clean things. Maybe you could tell her that on her way out.

Because, now, dear Sir/Madam, now I come to her most disconcerting practice—a practice I have witnessed with my own two eyes on not one, not two, but three separate occasions. Thrice in a week we contained prisoners with MRSA, an unpleasant, highly communicable disease and one that, shockingly, I would prefer not to contract. When I informed the cleaning lady that the cells had been contaminated with a highly contagious disease and then commented that the MRSA cleaning solution was conveniently situated on the counter, she nodded and then SPRAYED THE CELLS WITH LYSOL FOR THREE FULL MINUTES. And then she just left.

May I beg you to please find a new cleaning person. And ban Lysol. And reimburse the dispatchers for the time they have spent vacuuming, taking out the garbage, cleaning the pathetic little sink, finding and restocking their own towels and soap, and protecting themselves from MRSA.

Thank you,

Dispatch